Jumanji-Welcome to the Jungle, Review: You only live thrice

If you happen to get your hands on a board-game called Jumanji, you and all within range will be transported to a virtual jungle, where virtually all imaginable forms of carnivorous animals will vie with each other to gobble you up. But even if they do, do not worry, you will still live, to die another day, by falling off a cliff, perhaps. Now that you have used up two of your allotted three lives (nine are for cats only), you better be careful. The villain and his henchmen, including a hench-bird, are after you, and there’s only one life-line left, out of the three bars that were marked near your wrist. Deadly? Not quite. How deadly an adventure comedy can be?

Back in 1995, Jumanji became a film adaptation of a 1981 children's book of the same name, by Chris Van Allsburg, with Allburg co-writing the screenplay. It was set in 1969, and featured a plot that had its beginnings in 1869. Robin Williams starred. Meanwhile, there has been an animated TV series 1996-99 and a Microsoft game, released in 1996, with variations on the main premise. Jumanji, the game, moved on to PlayStation 2 in 2006. Zathura: A Space Adventure, the ‘spiritual sequel’ that was marketed as being from the same continuity with varied uses of the tagline, From the world of Jumanji, was released as a feature film in 2005. It was based on another Allsburg novel. Jumanji 1995 ended on a beach, with the havoc-wreaking board game partially buried (by Alan Parrish/Robin Williams) on a sandy beach. That is where the 2017 standalone sequel begins, on a Hawaiian Beach.

Over the spread of two films, the plot of Jumanji spans the period 1869-2016, and the game mutates from a board game to a video console for the present generation (after all, who plays board games any more.) It’s a five player game, and there are four teenagers who decide to play along. Guess what? The fifth is already in the game, sucked in, as these four students are going to be. Kept back at school under detention, for indiscipline, they choose a player profile each, and are immediately thrust into the game’s jungle setting, into the bodies of their ‘avatars’.

Nerdy Spencer Gilpin, black boy Anthony ‘Fridge’ Johnson, Bethany Walker and Martha Kaply are the four ‘chosen ones’. In the game, they have different names and entirely different personality traits. So, Dr. Smolder Bravestone, an archaeologist and explorer, is Spencer's incarnation. Professor Sheldon ‘Shelly’ Oberon, a cartographer, cryptographer, archaeologist and palaeontologist, is Bethany's persona. Ruby Roundhouse, a commando, martial artist, and dance fighter is the new being of Martha's. Franklin ‘Mouse’ Finbar, a short zoologist and weapons specialist, is Fridge's Jumanji manifestation. Jefferson ‘Seaplane’ McDonough, the part taken-up by Alex Vreeke, is the ‘already taken’ fifth player. There is also the villain, who has stolen the Jaguar mountain’s eye-jewel, and he is called Van Pelt. (Funny names, aren't they)? It is the mission of the fantastic four, aided by the late-arriving fifth element, to restore the jewel to the eye and rid Jumanji of the curse that threatens its very existence.

Not often does one see a Hollywood vehicle penned by as many as six writers: Jake Kasdan, Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Scott Rosenberg, Jeff Pinkner and the parent of the Jumanji kidzania, Chris Van Allsburg. With six main parts, listed above, did they contribute one character each? Will, no. It went through many drafts, which were the main cause of the release being delayed by almost a whole year. As the story moves from one pitfall to another free-fall, some humour crops up, though it seems out of place in view of the characters dying death after death--with Jake Kasdan, that is only to be expected; he calls it “character comedy”--including a huge ‘seduction’ tutorial to distract armed guards, the laughs often border on adult territory. That is out of place in a teenage jungle adventure. Our protagonists proceed with the help of a map and other clues as in a regular treasure hunt, but the hints are often provided as conundrums, not being what they appear to be at first sight. A basic narrative ploy, it works for most parts of the film. No clues are provided about the motivations of the villain and how did he come to assemble a gang of ruthless killers, except the barest of back-stories.

Son of writer-director Lawrence Kasdan (The Empire Strikes Back) and older brother of actor-writer director Jon Kasdan, director Jake Kasdan directed his first film, Zero Effect, in 1998, three years after the first Jumanji was released. Other outings include Orange County (2002), Bad Teacher (2011) and Sex Tape (2014). The animals are all CGI, but almost all the environments are real. Dwayne Johnson is doing production honours too, but the others in the main cast are all first choices of Kasdan. He delineates the pentagonal palm of five rather well, with traits that are not only visibly and substantially different in their normal selves, he has holograms enunciating the strengths and weaknesses they possess, which include ‘dance-fighting’ and ‘cake’.

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is steady and all his muscles are much-needed to knock down the bad guys and animalistic animals. At 45, he is not suited to playing the silent lover of a badass teenager, but then I guess that’s funny in a nice sort of way, as are his two different sized eyeballs. Kevin Hart (several stand-up comedy films, as himself) cast as quintessential black buddy, with an accent and vocabulary that is as old as the hills. Occasionally, he is mildly funny. Jack Black (High Fidelity, School of Rock, Bernie) does a few gross things, and would you blame him for not knowing how to pee, now that he has taken the avatar of a man? As the scantily clad babe who is a one-woman 'dance fighting' army, Karen Gillian (Oculus, Guardians of the Galaxy) makes an effort to look dumb, and has a figure that’s very easy on the eye. Nick Jonas (singer, song-writer, actor and record producer) plays the pilot with a past, easing into his role.

Young Rohan Chand, of Indian descent, has no name, credited as the Boy at the Bazaar. This lad, who was discovered in Jack and Jill (2011) as a six year-old, has a very confident air about him. Soon, you will see him as Mowgli. Adequate support comes from Rhys Darby, Alex Wolff, Ser'Darius Blain, Madison Iseman, Marc Evan Jackson and Morgan Turner. Bobby Cannavale as the no holds barred, no qualms, no ethics Bad Man? Yup, with one of his eyes translucent blue. Blue Jasmine, Chef, Danny Collins, Ant-Man and Daddy's Home are very good credentials. In Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Cannavale is a stock villain, with little in terms of genuine stock. He tries to add some dimensions, but where’s the role?

Rating: ** ½

P.S.: You don’t watch Jumanji; Jumanji watches you!

Virtual reality is three times more exciting than real life, for it is only there that you can have three lives.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/v_TJKwJwN0E